SOUNDING OFF, TUNING OUT

DESPITE YET ANOTHER SINUS INFECTION, (DAMN THESE CHICAGO WINTERS) BLACK MOTH SUPER RAINBOW’S “DANDELION GUM” (THANKS AGAIN, CHIP!) HAD ME DANCING AROUND THE LIVING ROOM FRIDAY NIGHT … AND WILL HELP ME KEEP THE BEAT AT SOME POINT TODAY I’M SURE AS I OVERHAUL MY APARTMENT. OH, THE DRIVING FORCE THAT IS MUSIC.

“Today was another day full of dread. But I never said I was afraid. Because dread and fear should not be confused. By dread I am inspired, by fear I’m amused …” BONNIE “PRINCE” BILLY

“If I could do just one near-perfect thing I’d be happy. They’d write it on my grave, or when they scattered my ashes. On second thoughts, I’d rather hang around and be there with my best friend, if (he) wants me.” BELLE AND SEBASTIAN

“I have loved in haste. I’ve been an alley cat and a bumblebee to your panther and your wasp. Well, I have loved … while thinking only of the cost.” SMOG

I’ve taken to writing song lyrics as my Facebook status from time to time.

Usually it’s something that jumps out at me on the train heading into work. More often than not, I’ll skip back a couple of paces on my iPod and listen to the words again … making sure they sink in. Steal another artist’s poetry so it becomes my mantra for the day.

And believe me, it helps. Boy, does it.

Bonnie “Prince” Billy has been singing in my head for almost 72 hours now. “Today was another day full of dread …” It started on Thursday, my actual day of dread at work, the most challenging of the week. Although, as the lyrics so clearly state, the eight hours when I am most inspired. The most fulfilled. Despite being stressed.

Three minutes of “Another Day Full of Dread” and I am no longer.

That is one of the most amazing things about music to me, sometimes it can tell you how you feel … before you know what your emotions are going to be. Music has the ability to tell someone else how you are feeling … even if you are too stubborn … scared … scarred … afraid … to do so yourself. The sound can bring people together, common interests playing a big part in a connection in its infancy. The guitar chords, drum beats and even moments of silence can overcompensate for the voices in your head when needed, whether it be drowning out the sorrow or keeping in time with the adrenaline pulsing through your happy veins.

“Creature Fear” becomes my shield on the train … “Set ‘Em Wild, Set ‘Em Free” sets my feet a tapping … “Sweet Carolina” makes me cry every time I hear it, as does “Do You Realize” … “Muzzle of Bees” takes me back to my move to Chicago (I still see the Interstate in the long, driving guitar parts) … “Into the Mystic” reminds me my Dad is still with me (same with any Michael McDonald, Steely Dan or Doobie Brothers) … “Sleepyhouse” shouts out to me of first loves … “Listening to Otis Redding During Christmas” somehow brings me hope … “Distance” makes me proud to be a woman (you would have to search for the hidden meaning for me in this Smog song … and you still wouldn’t understand) … “John Wayne Gacy, Jr.” tells me to celebrate life …

And for all of that I worship the sound. And I thank the universe for the songs it’s yet to bring me.

As far as Belle and Sebastian goes, it wasn’t so much about hanging around with my best friend as it was “If I could do just one near-perfect thing I’d be happy.” Feeling overwhelmed still by some aspects of life … seemingly grasping at straws … I was simply craving smooth-sailing.

Near-perfect.

And for a moment, it can be.

For a moment, it is.

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2 thoughts on “SOUNDING OFF, TUNING OUT

  1. Yet another window I can look through and see who you are! This is what I was looking forward to everytime I bugged you to PLEASE begin blogging. You have not disappointed me. Thanks fir the read. Love, Mom

  2. “Music has the ability to tell someone else how you are feeling…”
    My favorite line – you hit the nail on the head.
    Though I have never heard of a lot of the artists you mentioned, I totally get what you’re saying. For me personally, there’s nothing better than hearing a praise song perfectly describe Jesus.
    “what’s not to love about You…” taken from Chris Tomlin’s “Sing, Sing, Sing” is one of my many current faves.

    I can’t get over how much I’m enjoying this blog! Keep up the great work!

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